Last Blog on Leadership

I can't believe that this is the end. This semester was great. I've learned so much and and am really glad that I took this class. Thanks for being an amazing TA Audrey! Our first blogs were just our thoughts on leadership and now I will define what leadership is to me. I wonder how different it will be from the beginning of semester.
Leadership: To me leadership is everyone's responsibility. There is always some was that you can lead. You don't need a title or position to be a leader. You should always be leading by example and leading yourself into a better you. Leadership is the act of taking the reins, taking control, and taking matters into your own hands, rather than sitting back and letting others do all the work for you. Leadership is being an example for other to follow and want to follow. Leadership is having a purpose in life and working for that goal. Leadership is not being bossy, demeaning, and having a big head, but rather being full of love and compassion. Leadership is not one man on the mountain looking down on all below, but helping everyone make it to the summit and stand on the peak. Leadership is not always easy. It can be difficult at times to make the changes necessary. There in no one way to lead. every situation is different and as such, requires different leadership. Leadership is taking charge and making changes to yourself and your life to better serve others, not trying to force others to change to benefit your life. Leadership is using what you've got in the best possible way. Most of all, leadership is action, making the difference in the things you do. Leadership is not typing up this blog post, but living by the principles in it and all the ones we've learned about all semester.
I think the thing that impacted me most this semester was that in order to be a good leader I would have to make most of the changes to myself, not to a program or the people, but myself. I cannot really lead others if I do not have a good hold on who I am and making sure that that is who I want to be. It's ok if I'm not perfect as long as I keep moving forward and strive for perfection. Only then can I be a good leader. As soon as I stop and say I am a good leader as I am at this point, I start to diminish the good I can do.
I have really enjoyed this semester with you guys. I'll miss it and all the cool movie clips. :D In all seriousness, thanks for all the insight that you have given me and good luck to you all in your leadership endeavors.

Leadership for Change

Aside from being a bit uncomprehensible, there were some good points to the lecture. I liked the point about setting goals for change that were SMART-Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevent, and Time bound. In looking back on my goals over my life I have realized that the ones that I have failed to reach have had missing parts of SMART. If it was not time bound I felt like I had all the time in the world and never did it. Often they were just too far out of reach, unattainable, and I knew it, but forged ahead into failure anyway. Ambiguity is probably the wost of them all for me. Now that I know all the things to look for I think that I will be better able to make changes.
The concept about the vital behavior was also a good point (even if I couldn't look at the slide for fear of passing out at the sight of the worm). It was like what I discovered when I was reading my leadership book. When you fix one small thing you can solve a larger problem. If you try to think of a positive aspect about a person that is getting on your nerves you will have more love for them, more tolerance, and be in a better mood that will make you less likely to get annoyed again so easily.
Leadership really is all about change, trying to make things better. The best kind of leadership is a selfless one where you try to change yourself and processes so that others benefit and things are better. You can't force others to change but you can influence them to change themselves. If it is done in love and with real concern for their well being it works so much better than when you try to force change upon them. In fact forcing only makes them more stubborn in their position to not change at all. I liked the quote she had on her first slide: "I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but I keep a long list of prospective candidates in case I should ever figure it out." -David Sedaris. Sometimes we wish we could change everyone to our benefit, but a more appropriate and attainable goal is to change ourselves, our own perspective and behaviors.
I can understand the three areas of influence that are: personal, social, and structural and all the importance of using them all when appropriate. At times we need to connect to someone on a personally level, connect to the things that they can do and what they believe in to make changes and at other times more influence is need by social and peer groups that are looked up to. Structural has always been my first thought when it came to change, but I now agree that rewards and discipline should not be the first line of defense, but the last. There are other and better ways to make change-having people want to change on their own for their own reasons. As Eisenhower said, "Leadership is the knack of getting somebody to do something because they want to." I hope that as a leader I can inspire people, including myself, to make good changes in life that benefit others.

Leadership in the Home and Community

Ok, so...you want to know how I can be a leader as a child, sibling, and as a member of my community. Here I go...
Child: As a child I mainly follow my parent's leadership but, there are some things in which I lead. Sometimes my parent get so busy with other things and need a helpful reminder of other things that they have forgotten, such as when my dad gets working on a "fix-it-up" project (like the car) and needs to be reminded that it is getting late and we need to do our family scripture study before all the kids go to bed. Now that I am older, my suggestions are listened to with more attentiveness. They take what I say into consideration. There are seven kids in my family which is large for most (although just average among Mormons). My parents can't take do everything all the time for each one of us as well as have time to themselves and to be with each other. I have become the "mini mom." I gained this title many years ago when I just barely came up to my mom's waist. I had always tried to help my mom. When I was young it may have been more of a hindrance than a help to fold the laundry or sweep the kitchen. And I know that when I helped with the cookies, all I did was make a mess of the flour. But, through all of that I learned how to do these tasks and now I can relieve my mother's load and play temporary parent, making dinner and cleaning the house. One of my main duties is as chauffeur, driving my siblings to the places they need to be. Those are some ways I can be a leader as a child.
Sibling: I am the third child of seven but, more importantly, I am the first girl. This means that I am on a different playing field from my brothers. There are some things that only a girl can lead in. My brothers didn't have to be leaders in the same way with wearing modest clothing (I don't even want to try to picture them in bikinis...ugh!). And even if it wasn't specific to girls, I had to be a leader in things like my music choices, movies I watched, what was on the TV... Ther is a saying that goes something like, "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link." If my two older brothers had been strong but, I then failed and ran wild my younger siblings would have discounted that of my elder brothers and only payed mind to my bad example with excuses like, "But, Malorie..." and "That's not what Malorie..." There are also some things that only one of the other kids can say. When one of us is in a disagreement with one of our parents, no amount of talking (arguing) will solve it. It is also hard for the other parent to say anything because they represent a united front and are considered as one in the same. When this happens I can serve as mediator leading the family to peace. I can even be an example to my older siblings. It is not so weird now that I'm older to see my self on a equal playing field as my brothers because we deal with similar situations. I can be an example of an exemplary student to make my brother work harder in his classes. For my brother on a mission, I can write to him and be an example to him to write back to me and others.
Member of the community: I volunteer for service activities and tutor once a week at one of the elementary schools here in Provo. This give me plenty of opportunities to lead. As a member of my community I think the best thing I can do is be a great example as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. If I follow all the principles of the gospel and the prophets council then I will just be leading by example of a good citizen in all that I do. Yup! I think that that is the best and most important thing I can do for the community (kind of like that "Redefining Service" video you showed us).

Ethical Leadership

I know that no is perfect all of the time but, when you are a leader and have others looking up to you and to you for an example it is important to have a moral standard, ethics. In my role as a tutor to second graders it is important that I keep the same rules from week to week, set a good example, and am always fair. It is also important to keep my same standards everywhere I go because I never know when some one will be watching. Just last week I ran into one of my students at DI. If I had been wearing inappropriate clothing or speaking with bad language he would have lost all respect for me and would have not followed my leadership.
I am also an example of the Church. Though there are many decisions to make, following your conscience, or the spirit, is always the best choice. Even though other people do things or compromise their integrity, it is no excuse for me to do the same. I really could not believe that people would admit to cheating and deception in their school work let alone do it with pride. The real shocker was when that girl said that it was dishonest but, not dishonest enough to make her stop.
I should always live with in my chalk circle. In the movie A Little Princess Sarah, the main character, tells a story in which a chalk circle is drawn around a young woman to protect he. She is safe while in the circle but, when she leaves its confines she is captured by a beast. She was eventually saved was when her love came to rescue her and died in the process only to be resurrected when an animal gave him its life. This Is like the chalk circle of which he spoke. When we leave our ethical boundaries we get caught by Satan. The only way we can be saved is through Christ, who loves us all. When I was little and played with chalk I would sit for a long time in my protection circle. I think that I now need to mentally draw my circle again and keep inside the boundaries by my integrity.

Servant Leadership

I was really excited that we got to hear from Neil Cox again. I'm sure the other guest speaker would have been great too but, I really enjoyed both of Cox's lectures. If you think about the two topics he spoke on, Divine-Centered Leadership and Servant Leadership, they really go hand in hand and may even be considered one in the same. By following the pattern of divine-centered leadership one naturally should become a servant leader and vice versa, by being a servant leader, one should be on their way down the path of divine-centered leadership. To tell the truth, I think that all the topics we discuss and all the elements we strive to grasp in this class are linked together. They build off of each other. Just like with my leadership book, if you can get a handle on one of the aspects another may already be half-way complete. It will be easier to work on the new things learned.
Okay, so obviously we all know the best example of servant leadership...Jesus Christ. He is the master example to follow when dealing with love, charity, compassion, kindness, and service-hence, a servant leader. I think the best example of Christ serving those under his care was in his short, three day trip to America to visit the Nephites. He did more for those people in just three days than anyone of us could do in our life time but, still we must try to do all of which we are capable. During his first day he spent time with each of the 2,500 people, one on one, letting them feel the prints in his hands, feet, and side. Giving each person but a small amount of time should still have resulted in the devotion of the majority of the day. He brought them the sacrament and taught them about baptism. He blessed each and every little child there was. He healed the sick and ministered unto all the multitude. So great were the things Christ did in the Americas that not all could be recorded because of the sacredness of it all. In just three days he accomplished all this making him the perfect servant leader and example for us to follow.

Confilct Resolution

There were many good points to this week's lecture but, I think the most novel thing I learned was that conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. There indeed does need to be "opposition in all things." Without opposition no one could progress and think on their own. If everyone was always in agreement then the world then the earth would be the flat center of the universe, no one could fly, there would be no heroes and villains (there goes our entertainment) and the this wold would just be a boring place. We need different opinions and people to put them forth. The important thing in conflict resolution is not to dissolve it, but to make it productive rather than destructive after all this is called "conflict resolution" not "conflict elimination." Conflict is what enables us to make choices, to use the agency God has given us.
Conflicts can be small and easily resolved between the parties involved or large aggressive things that need a mediator or some other form of help to over come. An example of a small conflict that I saw this week involved a couple of my roommates and me. I wanted to read one night and a few of my roommates wanted to watch TV. Both reading and watching a good show are good things to do yet there was a conflict of interests. It was hard for me to read with the TV on and there were no quiet places in our apartment to go. Even the lobby was noisily occupied. To resolve the conflict I asked them if they could turn the volume down some so that it would be easier to read. This doesn't seem like a big deal and it wasn't. I realized that they had been waiting all week for this show and they knew how much I love to read and how involved I get in my books. We both ended up getting what we wanted because we understood each other. Imagine if I had just walked in and turned off the TV. I guarantee the out come would not have been pleasant and in the end at least one of us would have lost what we had been trying to attain.
I spotted many similar small conflicts this week that were readily resolved with talking it out and understanding each other. I did not see any real large conflicts, of which I am glad. These are much less common than the day-to-day differences between people. It is always best to try to solve the smaller conflicts before they become larger. I think large conflicts mainly arise when small things are ignored and build up rather than being resolved while they are sill manageable. It is like a snowball rolling down a mountain or a hill. It starts off small and grows as grivity pulls it down and more begins to stick to it. The larger it becomes the harder it is to stop the momentum and the more surface area there is for more snow to stick to. Like being caught in a rut, there comes a point where it is just easier to stay in the deepening whole than to try to find a way out. That is why it is so important to resolve conflicts as soon as possible.
I honestly believe that listening and trying to understand each other is the best way to resolve conflicts. If we sincerely try to help each other and not be concerned with only ourselves then we will all be better off.

Teamwork

I am not a big sports fanatic so I was really wondering how this week's guest speaker's lecture would head. I was very grateful for all the things he said and brought me out of my belief that teamwork was mainly for sports and the like. I have come to realize that there are teams everywhere in eveything that we do. Teams are any group of two or more. They should be working for the same common goal. My favorite of all the examples of teams he gave over the hour of class was that of the family. I had never thought of my family as a team on an everyday basis. There were times that we acted as a team for one purpose or another but, I had never considered that they were my team at all times. I guess that means I wasn't the best teammate all the time either because we did not share all our goals. I think I will try to improve upon this. Becoming a better teammate to my family and helping them reach their goals.
Another thing from his lecture that I thought was very beneficial to me was his comments on firelighters and firefighters. It made me realist how I sometimes poor water on the fire and quench the flame. I make sarcastic comments and jokes a lot and never really mean any harm by them but, they can still be detrimental. I have consciously made an effort to hold back my comments or make more supportive remarks this week. I hope that I can do better as a firelighter though...pyromaniacs freak me out a bit. ~_~ lol.
A third great point he made was the idea of base camps. You can't hike the mountain in one stretch. There are bases all along the way to stop at, regain your strength, and prepare for the next part of your voyage. This one has gotten to me more this week as I read my leadership book for the book report, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. There are so many things in the book that I need to improve upon but, I can't do them all at once. The peak of this mountain is not just a hop, skip, and a jump away but rather a series of about one hundred base camps. I must set many smaller goals and achieve them in their proper time to better my self otherwise I will only become frustrated and discouraged by my imminent failures.
Lastly, I shall speak on lifting where I stand. This talk made quite an impression upon me when it was give in general conference. Where I stand now is as a friend, a student, a daughter, a sister, a roommate, a tutor, a visiting teacher, and a member of many other teams. No matter what role I have, I must fill it to the best of my ability not seeking to over step my bounds and take over anyone else's responsibility or to shirk from my own leaving it for others to carry. I will stand close together with my other teammates and life where I stand.